I am a qualified girdle wearer.
I have the certificate to prove it.
I attended the classes by mistake.
I really wanted to learn how to wear girls, but the ad was misspelt.
I realised my mistake, but thought it might still be a good place to meet girls.
Unfortunately so did the other three blokes on the course.
Modern girls do not go to girdle wearing classes.
By the time I realised, I had already earned my certificate.
I was keen to put my new skills into practise.
I searched the net for Girdle wearing Jobs.
I discovered that American Footballers needed help in wearing girdles.
I went to the states and applied for the job.
The American girdle wearing union was a problem.
Therefore, I decided to join a club called “US Girdle wearersâ€.
Unfortunately, the “us†didn’t stand for United States.
One day I’ll tell you about my new certificate.
Girdle wearers attach themselves to sand or mud with a kind of glue made by glands located toward the rear of adults and on the toes of larvae. Larvae (LAR-vee) are animals in an early stage that change form before becoming adults. Adults crawl by using their spines and their mouth cones. The mouth cone telescopes out to its full length, fastens itself to a sand grain, and then draws in again so that the animal’s body is pulled forward. The larvae use spines and bristles to crawl between grains of sand. They can also swim by using their toes. Girdle wearers eat by piercing bacteria and algae with their mouth spears and sucking out the contents….. but I don’t think this has much to do with the above article from Deety somehow …source here: